Please, With C
by Angel's Star
Summary: Ok, this is just a thing my little bro helped me think of. It's about Link's first encounter with somebody in Kikariko Village and then again in Clock Town. Please review!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: No, I'm not dead. I'm sure you all thought that, though... I can't express how sorry I am for not updating lately. I'll try harder to get to it as often as I can. But you guys haft'a understand that I'm pretty busy. I'm not sure why, but I just am. So, I now present to you...a new fic!

Disclaimer: Here's a change! I don't own Legend of Zelda.

Please, With C

Link dismounted Epona in front of the entrance to Kikariko village. The sun was shinning down brightly on our hero that day. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Epona snorted happily as she pawed the ground. The hero gave her a pat on the neck and started up the stairs to the village. The horse watched him round the corner then began nibbling on some grass.

"Welcome to Kikariko village, sir," the guard said with a nod. "Enjoy your stay."

Link nodded back and walked on ahead a few steps. He remembered being here when he was seven years younger. Back before he pulled the Master Sword from the stone. Nothing had changed about this place much.

As the hero walked around, memories began flooding his mind. He remembered how he had to catch the chickens for the chicken lady. That was pretty fun.

He remembered how he always liked to agitate the man in the windmill. The man would get mad and chase him off. That was fun too, except for when the guy threw his shoe and hit Link in the back of his head...that hurt.

The hero remembered how creeped out he felt as he entered the spider house. The giant spider had almost landed on his head and given him a heart attack! But he had freed them from their curse and now they're normal people like you and me.

And those workers! How they used to work so hard all day long! Link almost felt sorry for them, but he was glad he wasn't doing that hard work.

"I've had some pretty good times here," Link said to himself as he peered down the well. He had to go down there one time and that _wasn't_ fun.

Link also remembered the graveyard. It was kind'a spooky until you got used to it. Dampe worked there for as long as the hero knew him. But the poor guy had died in the seven-year period the hero had been gone.

But Link got to race Dampe's ghost, which was pretty fun. The ghost would throw fire in the path and the hero would always dodge it. That's how he earned the Hook shot.

A growling sound interrupted his memories. The hero turned, but realized it was his stomach. He hadn't eaten lunch and it was almost time for supper.

"I should probably find a place to stay for the night," Link said and began to walk up some stairs.

Pat, pat, pat.

Link froze. The sound continued. He looked around, but couldn't find the source.

Pat, pat, pat.

The hero drew his sword and slowly continued up the steps. When he came to the top, he realized what it was. A man was sitting on a cloth and was patting his legs while watching Link intently.

Link sighed in relief and put the sword back in its case.

As Link approached, the man said, "Please, with C. Sell me something with C..."

"What?" Link drew back a step thinking this man was crazy. "With C?"

"Please, with C..." the man began again.

"What's C?" The hero asked quizzically.

The man continued patting his legs and the hero began to wonder if his legs were sore or if his arms were tired.

"Oooookaaaay..." Link walked around the man in a wide circle, but kept his eyes on him. The man continued to watch the hero until Link had gone around the corner. By then he was running.

The hero sat down on the grass and leaned against a building. He could still here the _pat, pat, pat_ of the creepy guy below. But he was determined to enjoy his meal.

He pulled the cooked fish out of where ever he keeps his stuff (I still don't know where that is!) and was about to take a bite when...

"Please, with C," the man chanted. "Sell me something with C."

The hero lowered the fish from his mouth and peeked around the corner. The man was staring at him while patting his legs.

What is with this guy? Link thought as he moved farther away from the creepy man. _Oh well. I can still enjoy my fish._

Link thought as he moved farther away from the creepy man. 

Link opened his mouth wide and was about the take a bite of the fish when he heard, "Please with C. Sell me something with C."

"What's C!" Link asked himself. Of coarse he didn't know. "I'll just eat this fish inside."

He stood and opened the door to the Bazaar. There were a few people there, but not enough for the shop owner to make much money off of.

"Hey," the owner said. "Welcome."

Link was almost intimidated by that guy. He was huge with a few tattoos on his arms. "Hi. Can I eat my fish in here?"

"Do what you want," the owner said, "I don't care."

"Thanks," Link said as he sat down on a bench and brought the fish to his mouth.

"Please, with C..." came the muffled voice of the man outside.

I can't believe this! The hero angrily shoved the fish back in his pocket (or where ever he keeps his stuff).

"What's up with that guy out there?" He asked, trying to control his frustration.

"That guy who won't leave you alone?" The owner asked and Link nodded. "I don't know. He just bugs people until they give him their food. He usually gives them money for it."

"How does he know when I'm about to eat my food?"

"He's just weird like that," the shop owner shrugged. "Don't pay him any attention if you want to eat your fish. If you've got any other food on you, he'll know."

By then, Link had cooled down just a bit. He sighed and began to finally eat his fish in piece.

* * *

The hero didn't sleep good at all that night. He kept hearing the _pat, pat, pat_ from weird guy who knew if you had food with you or not.

Doesn't this guy ever go to sleep! Link thought as he rolled over again and again.

As soon as the sun came up, he'd be outta there in a hurry. Who cared if the town probably needed saving? He'd get it later.

The sun began to peek out from behind the mountains. Dawn was finally here for our poor hero. Kikariko village had changed a lot over the years all right, but it had changed for the worse.

Pat, pat, pat.

The man was still awake and was keeping Link awake as well.

The sun continued to rise at it's slow pace. Pretty soon, it was half way over the mountains and Link was sick of all the noise coming from one man.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!" Link shouted like a crazed man.

The hero jumped up and made a mad dash to the exit of Kikariko village. It was their own fault if they were destroyed.

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, so it didn't turn out as funny as I had hoped, but no flames, please. Thank you. I hoped you enjoyed it. My little bro helped think of it. Oh yeah! Before I forget, my cat Honey-Suckle had five kittens Monday (the 18th), but one had passed away by the time I had found them. But they're really cute! Anyway, please review! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So it started out being a one-shot, but come on! Link has to have an encounter with the please with C guy while he's a banker! lol Ok, here it is. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Me no owny Legend of Zelda. There!

Chapter 2

Link fell through time and space as the Song of Time echoed all around him. He felt his money and items fly out of his...where ever he kept his stuff. His hat? No, it didn't feel like it was coming from his hat. He didn't have pockets either...THUD!

The boy in green rubbed the back of his head. He had landed in a dark room. The sound of a large water wheel reached his ears. He had been here before. The boy stood and looked around. His eyes landed on the creepy mask man whose whole life revolved around having Link risk his life in dangerous dungeons all for the sake of having his precious mask back. For all Link cared he could just go get it from Skull Kid himself. Or fall off a cliff trying. Or better...both!

The creepy mask man didn't seem to notice him, but the boy couldn't tell for sure since the man always had his eyes closed. Link slowly crept towards the door, never taking his eyes off the man.

"Halt!" The cry seemed to slice the silence in half.

Link dared to look back at the man. His eyes were open, but he had an almost evil expression on his face.

"Get back here!" He pointed to the ground in front of him. His voice was deeper and sounded mad. The boy's legs seemed to move on their own, because before he knew it, he was standing in front of him. "Have you brought me my mask back?"

"N-not yet..." he looked away. He heard the man sigh and knew he was frustrated.

"Well, you probably want to be out of that Deku form, right?"

Link was surprised at how quickly he had jumped to the point. The boy turned his back and looked through a cheat book he used to get through the dungeons. It said he should have a long boring speech...oh well!

"Yes, please!" He hopped up and down.

Suddenly he felt a hard smack on the back of his head. He looked down at the ground to see that...HIS FACE HAD FALLEN OFF! Oh my goodness! It was one thing to see his enemies fall apart, but it was another to see himself fall apart! Wait...his face hadn't fallen off...it was a mask!

"Oh and here's the song you're supposed to learn," the mask man handed him a sheet of paper. "It takes me too long to teach people, so you can learn it yourself."

Link grabbed up the mask and song and hurried out of there.

"What a weird-o," Tatl said after they left the Clock Tower. "Now what about that song?"

"I guess I'm s'possed to learn it..." the boy said as they walked by the dog that attacked him when he was a Deku. "AAAAH! EVIL DOG!"

The dog stared up at the boy innocently as if to say, "What? I never hurt you!" But the boy continued pointing and screaming until Tatl finally rammed herself against his cheek. People had stopped what they were doing and were staring at the boy.

Link turned a bright red and rushed to the nearest exit, which happened to lead to West Clock Town.

"What was _that_ about!" Tatl asked as she hovered in front of him.

"Demon dog!" Link panted. He held a hand over his heart as his breathing slowed.

"You're crazy..." the fairy stated. "So what if it attacked you numerous times when you were a Deku? It was your own fault most of the time..."

: Flash back :

Link crouched behind a large crate and watched the evil white dog prance about. The boy hadn't listened to Tatl's warning of how the dog hated Dekus and how he should have learned from the first time. But he hadn't learned! The boy slowly started making a spit bubble and...ready...aim...fire!

The bubble hit its target and the dog's gaze shifted to the boy. It began to growl deep in its throat and then it attacked! The boy lay helplessly on the ground and pretended to be dead. The dog leapt off him and began barking and prancing around once more.

And then there was that other time...Link _really_ didn't want to relive that one.

: End flash back :

The boy shuddered. "I'll never look at a dog the same way..."

Tatl sighed. It was no use saying anything. He wouldn't listen anyway.

"What's that?" The boy asked quietly.

"What's...what?" The fairy questioned.

_Pat, pat, pat..._

"That," he replied.

Tatl listened for a moment. "You mean that patting sound?"

"Y-yes," Link was already shaking with fear, though he wasn't sure why he was afraid. "It's _him_!"

"Who?"

"Him!"

: Flash back :

Link had been an adult at the time. He had innocently gone to save Kikariko Village when he met _him._ The Please-With-C-Guy, as Link put it. Those were the first and only words he ever uttered.

Link had tried to eat his lunch in peace, but had no luck with that. He even tried to sleep, but was kept awake by the patting of the Please-With-C-Guy. He didn't know why he didn't leave until morning. Maybe he was afraid the crazy guy would attack him or something for not giving him a fish. Whatever his reason, he wasn't going to make that same mistake again. Forget getting the mask from Skull Kid! This guy was the ultimate evil that needed to be stopped!

: End flash back :

For a few moments, Tatl just hovered in front of him with the faint patting sound in the background. Finally, after staring at him for a while, she broke the silence. "You've got issues..."

"Do not!" Link countered.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Prove it!"

"Ok, fine!"

"Go see the crazy Please-With-C-Guy."

Link gulped. "Fine!"

He walked up the sloping ground as the patting became louder and louder. He finally came into view.

"Wait! I've got a fish with me!" The boy remembered as he pulled out his bottle.

"You can't let it out-" Too late. Link had opened the bottle and dumped the fish onto the ground. It soon began flopping down the hill and out of sight.

About thirty seconds later they heard a kid shout, "Cool! A fish!"

"Now he can't beg for food," Link said proudly.

If Tatl had hands, she would have smacked her forehead. "Just go see him!"

The boy marched over to the guy and stood in front of him. Neither said anything, but the patting continued. Two whole seconds passed before Link proudly said, "See? He isn't begging for food 'cause I don't have any."

"How may I help you?" The crazy Please-With-C-Guy asked normally.

Link screamed in terror upon hearing him say something normal. "What's going on!"

"Ummm..." the Please-With-C-Guy said after recovering from the scream. "I'm a banker. I keep your money."

"That was a little obvious..." Tatl muttered.

"Oh really?" Link inquired. "I'll bet if I had that fish I just let go you'd change you're tune!"

Before the Please-With-C-Guy could reply, the boy had run down the hill to the kid who took his fish.

"Gimme that!" Link yanked the fish away from the boy and ran back up the hill. "What do you think about this!" He shoved the fish up in the banker's face.

"I think it's a dead, smelly fish," the man said. "Do you want me to keep your money or what?"

"I guess so..." Link hesitated as he set the fish on the ground again.

"All right!" The Please-With-C-Guy said and started messing with something to his left. Link didn't know what had happened to the crazy guy he met way back when. Now he was looking bad in front of Tatl. "Now I'll need to give you this stamp..."

"NOOOOO!" The boy shouted. He suddenly realized he had getting-stamps-from-an-ex-Please-With-C-Guy-phobia. "Never!"

The boy ran back down the hill leaving Tatl and the banker guy alone.

"I don't know what has gotten into him nowadays..." Tatl explained. "I've got to go get him. Link!"

The fairy flew after the boy.

Soon the little boy from down the hill passed by the banker guy.

"Please, with C...sell me something with C..." the banker guy began.

The little boy looked down in his hand to see the fresh fish he had just went to get. And so began his experience with the Please-With-C-Guy.

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A/N: So the first chapter might have been better, but anyway. This one had lots of Link OOCness. Hope you guys liked it. Please review!


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